Learn Who is responsible for your Anxiety.
Updated: Sep 22
Have you ever noticed, whenever you are anxious or anxiety is about to begin, it all starts with a thought of worry about the future which in turn bring a lots of fear. This fear is what actually brings the panic attack and makes you anxious.
Question is where is that fear coming from? Who is making you anxious? Is there a ghost or a person standing out there who is scaring you? Or have the future event you thinking about told you itself, whatever you do, it won't happen? Or the doubt you are having, has only one possibility, it will definitely go bad with 100% certainty?
OR IS IT JUST YOU??
The answer is: It's just you and the things which we misunderstand as us. Our mind and thoughts scare us more than the reality of the things itself. And we fall for these mind tricks all of the times. Whenever a stress signal comes through a thought, we just personalize it or take it to the heart and feels it's happening to us and bring on that unnecessary worry, anxiety and panic thereby bringing suffering to this beautiful life. And when this personalization of thoughts they become compulsive we give it a name of anxiety, depression and panic attack.
Humans have six sense doors eyes(seeing), ears(listening), nose(smelling), tongue(tasting), body(touch) and mind(thoughts). Whatever we receive through these doors, results in us developing perceptions which leads to us making lots of decisions and actions. For example Rose with good smell and beauty looks better than any other flower which has no smell and looks. But in reality, they both are flowers, both are the creation of this universe, with their own unique qualities. But just because Rose felt great with brought plenty of pleasant sensations on body, we made great perception about it and attachments with it. This is how we make attachments, which leads to expectations, desires and eventually suffering and we start to differentiate between things, even though the other flower is also a flower.
Similarly we differentiate between our own emotions, by running away or scared from one sort of feelings and towards other type. As I always say a coin has only value when it has 2 sides, not when it's just plain on one side. Same way, us running away from one sort of feelings makes us weak internally and prone to lots of depressions and anxieties, because we are not accepting both as a part of whole life, also we need to see thoughts as just thoughts and nothing more. If we learn this technique of dealing with our thoughts bring right understanding towards what they exactly are then we can definitely can get over our lots of self made issues and problems.
Dealing with thoughts and bringing the right understanding.
1. Increasing your level of awareness: First and foremost, one needs to be aware of who is in charge of your mind. If you can make thoughts, stop thoughts, divert thoughts, then you need to be aware of this fact, that you are the one who is making these thoughts. Now if you are the one who is making these thoughts, then why your thoughts are controlling you. Why are we slaves of our thoughts, means these thoughts are definitely yours, but they are not you at any time of your life. But the first mistake what we do is we take them as us and start personalizing everything which comes to our mind.
We need to stop identifying with them and stop falling for their trap. Like I m not in mood, I m depressed, I can't do this. All these thoughts which we are producing, now they have brought certain feelings on this body. So what we have started doing, because of this experience, we have started identifying too much with them. You are maker of these thoughts and feeling, you are not these thoughts. Let's start by bringing this awareness first.
We need to notice this, that our mind and body are highly interconnected. What thoughts comes to your mind, you feel them on your body as well. If you think something bad, then you will get bad feelings while good thoughts they bring good feelings. And reverse is also true, a bad feeling can trigger chain of bad thoughts and this goes in circle. What I want you to understand is what we call anxiety is our own creation through our thoughts and then personalizing them too much.
You make thoughts but you are not your thoughts. Similar way you make sweat but you are not your sweat. So if a thought is coming to your mind which says I can not do this or I am helpless. Remember you are the one who is creating them, they are yours, but they are not you. Means you can definitely do it and you are not helpless at all.
2. One Day at a time or small steps: No one knows what future will bring, we don't even know what next minute will bring. Worrying about something which is happening somewhere down the line, plus we don't even know if that thing will really happen. In my experience 99% of things we worry never happens. There are two outcomes, either good or bad, if it's good why worry and if it's bad then you can't do much about it until you know how bad, why worry even then as you will get a chance to deal with it also.
Best is staying positive about future or the outcome or work with a mindset of indifference towards your outcome, taking things step by step when they arise and live life day at a time, rather worrying about the mountain of life ahead. Also learn to interrogate your fears, rather than just getting carried away by them.
3. Mindfulness/Meditation: There is no other way then meditation in terms of understanding your mind and understanding the reality or value of your thoughts. Do a meditation course and learn how to be mindful, go easy on yourself and life. How not to convert a small worry to overworry, learn here.
4. Be happy about uncertainty: Uncertainty is the biggest thing which scares us, because humans always looks for safety. We need to be in our comfort zone, anything which is not known, scares and stresses us. Which is because we are trying to control everything around us, which is not a realistic method and just a worthless effort. Just be aware of yourself, your surroundings, control your reactions and make peace with your thoughts. As said above, whatever the outcome maybe, don't be scared of unknown rather be happy and positive about it and live your life fully. Learn how to deal with Uncertainty, click here.
5. Life is in present: Your past was your present once and your future will also be your present one day, what you are suffering is just your memory of past and imagination of future. Whatever the situation might be, you will be present there 100%, without you being there, existence of that thing you worrying about is impossible. And with you being there, you will always have the power to make right choice and with right choice you can change your past or future. So whenever you are worried raise your awareness/mindfulness level, come live in present, believe me worry will leave you like it was never there.
6. Observing the thought: Our mind and thoughts arising in it are the only troubles which makes our life difficult. No one from outside disturbed us more than our mind from inside and the best way to deal with our mind is to not react to it and the thoughts it makes. But rather whatever is the thought coming in the mind, deal with it with just observing it and then not going deep into it by making conversations with it and developing overthinking. Develop mindfulness and see things it as it is, the way they are.
Overall increase your observation power and acceptance power, observation towards your thoughts and upcoming actions rather than reaction to them. We react in following way: with our actions, or by talking back in our mind to our mind(to ourselves) or the negative self talk/indulging in conversation with our own thoughts in our mind. Best thing is increasing the observance, acceptance, awareness and reducing the reaction.
7. Ignoring the thought/Accepting the thought/Observing the thought(All Same): Another good way and my personal favorite is just ignoring the thought, whenever I get anxious I just start ignoring my own thoughts, in other words let them come, go to my anchor and don't fight them. Within minutes I become mindful, fear goes away and so do my anxiety or the fear no longer governs the thinking and thereby panic goes away.
Ignoring the thought or Accepting your thought or Observing the thought they all mean same, they just brings you straight into present moment. With present moment you stop creating thoughts and then eventually stop personalizing them.
8. Find an Anchor for your mind: Finding the anchor for your thoughts: Our mind is always chatty, its like you are a boat in a highly turbulent water. Turbulent water here is our mind and boat is you. As boat uses anchorage to settle down in the turbulent water. Same way our mind needs a anchorage in order to bring the chatter down. And a quiet mind is a present mind, when you are present you are far away from stresses, worries and all kind of anxieties. Learn breath meditation or mantra meditation or walking meditation they all will help reduce the thinking to absolute zero and peace will be very easily achieved. Learn Why Anxiety keeps on coming back, click here.
Hope you understood by now, it's only you who add wood to fire and make things worse. Your own indulgence with your own thoughts leads you to the feeling of anxiety and panic. So best solution is not indulging.
Calm Mind Power
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