Ways of Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts.
Updated: 7 days ago
Humans have six sense doors Eyes, Ears, Tongue, Nose, Body and Mind, whatever input we get, first we receive and experience them on these doors. We receive so much information through these doors everyday. Most of it we don't even need, but we receive it anyways and 99% we are not even conscious about what we are receiving. As it's impossible not to see or smell or think things which you don't like,as they are just there. That's why it is said, you can not control much outside of you, rather yourself, your mind, emotions and energies. All these gurus and pundits are saying this from centuries ago, you can only control yourself, now you know why.
Now what all inputs we receive on these sense doors they generate various sensations on our body, for example if you see something great and beautiful, we get lots of pleasant sensation and if we see things which produce unpleasant sensations, we tend to dislike those things. The definition of pleasant and unpleasant sensations, they do depend, a lot on our background, experiences, upbringing and family way of living. For example certain foods which some cultures refrain from and others just love them. Now these sensations can be very subtle or really strong, based on what we make lots of perceptions. For eg, Flower rose is beautiful with a great smell. We get more attracted to it, rather than a normal looking flower, but in reality they both are just flowers. Both are created from the same source, but we are attracted more towards one and repelled by another, just simply because the amount of pleasant sensations we generate, based on the inputs we received from six sense doors. So we will prefer flower Rose over any ordinary flower. That is the way we make perceptions and attachments. Furthermore, Awareness plays a big role in how to deal with situations like these and not develop this judgmental mind. That is why it is said to live in the present moment, live in now. Because a mind established in now, is a mindful and aware mind, which can see these sensations arriving through these inputs and not let us develop perception of good and bad.
That's why Buddha always said: observe and reduce your reaction. Now our parents, even their parents, people around us, almost everyone is living their life unconsciously in unawareness, making us all highly reactive and super conditioned. We all have perception towards anything or everything happening around us. Now based on the environment we receive while growing up, we become the same. Since childhood, our mind has been trained this way, where we are always asked to look for pleasure,happiness, make lots of money and be fearful. Now, we run towards pleasant sensations like crazy, we just want happiness, success, money and do not like failure, sadness and fear. But have you seen a coin which only has one side, will it have any value if the coin is blank on one side? Same way is life, obviously there is so much coming on the sense doors and then we are not even aware of how we are generating these sensations, plus due to unawareness, we do not know how to take them also. But a life will definitely have both, good and bad, no one's life is all good and no ones is all bad. It's always a mix of both. It means taking a life just based on lack of understanding and clarity on our emotions and our fears doesn't make any sense. Plus something which we have developed ourself, we definitely have the power to change it as well. All that's required is a little bit of understanding and strength. SO HOW IT BEGINS: We humans are in a constant thought process, thinking all the time. Also it's a common tendency of the mind to eat from the lower ground as It's always easy to give up, get scared and complain instead of fighting and working hard. Who doesn't love attention which is also called ego, we do all sorts of things to get this attention from others. Our ego makes us develop lots of expectations from others as we feel, if I'm doing something for others, I need something back in return. When we don't it leaves a mark of dissatisfaction inside us. Now combined with a mind tendency to eat from lower ground, along with this dissatisfaction, we feel something is lacking. This lacking or dissatisfaction over a period of time changes to depression and sadness. Because we just keep on thinking these negative thoughts and they do not leave us easy, this negativity in repeat leads to depression over a period of time. Now one thought leads to another, we feel there is no coming out of it and this generates lots of doubt and fear. Fear is mainly responsible for all the anxious thoughts we generate. As something which we fear or scared off, it has great power to generate a huge amount of unpleasant sensations on our body. Once we feel and experience this anxiety, we just make a memory of it rather than a scary one, which we hate too much and don't want to get bothered by ever again. But to our surprise, once a memory it's there forever and doesn't leave us that easy without the right understanding. Now all this unawareness, anxiety attacks makes our heart weak and incapable of handling this suffering, that's why we decide and prepare our mind to go down the path of death. Furthermore, some events leave a big mark of dissatisfaction, hurt or pain and they become a painful memory. This memory of hurt stays with us forever, if we don't nurture a seed of let go and forgiveness inside us, that memory can lead to lots of unpleasant feelings. And as we are in thinking mode constantly without much awareness of our thoughts, emotions, surroundings and feelings, thereby these memories have the power of dragging us into depression, sadness and anxiety again and again. What is Anxiety and Panic Attack: As what I felt, it is a sudden feeling of intense fear on our body which feels like millions of pins and needles passing through us on a constant basis, when our heart is super weak and thinking just negative thoughts.Thoughts which are mixed with extreme fear, doubts and dangers of mishappening with heavy influence of hopelessness. Making a person feel really worried, stressed and feeling trapped in a condition from which there is no return. Crux: Once a part of memory, they become a regular part of our life and these thoughts of fear they just keep on coming back and anything can trigger them at any time. Means mostly it's your thoughts which induces irritating physical bodily reactions, with deep influence of fear with scary feelings of no coming out and cure. Trigger could be your thoughts or anything external or internal. Now the next question is what is the treatment, or how can we stop those feelings, emotions, body reactions and come out of this hopelessness? And our answer lies in the question, why are we looking for treatment for something which is just started from inside, outside? Plus our thoughts are a part of our daily life and everyday living. Cure or Treatment: There will only be treatment, when there is a disease, but this is not even a disease, you are looking for treatment for a condition, which is in reality nothing but a fear. It is just your thoughts which have gone wild and brings a big chilling response along with them, which shakes our entire system. As you never get flustered by good happy thoughts, in the same manner why do we get affected by these wrong thoughts so much, as thoughts are just thoughts. Who is scaring you, obviously there is no ghost, learn more. Solution from my experience. Understand that thoughts are not the issue, it's the fear and hopelessness associated with these thoughts that is the main culprit. Feeling of dread, no cure, helplessness and no return is the main reason for extreme steps. But also understanding these feelings or emotions are only a result of our thoughts and ideas we attach to them, like any other feelings in our life, nothing new..right!!! Ways of dealing with our thoughts, ideas we attach and come out of those feelings. 1. You are not your thoughts: What we do is we start getting too much attached to our thoughts, we personalise them too much. What's happening in our mind and on our body, we feel that is us. How can you be something which is just a feeling or an emotion which is a highly fragile one, which can change anytime. It's just you got stuck with some scary memory, it doesn't mean that is you. Your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, emotions change all the time. You had different goals when we were kids, no one knows how many times they change everyday.
Stop associating yourself with your thoughts and feelings. They are just sensations on the body, observe them. They will go away.
2: Drop the thought: There are always trigger thoughts and after that every thought starts to scare us and make us go into a panic situation. We start feeling fear from anything and everything. And what happens instead of leaving that thought, we get into deeper conversation with those thoughts, our mind chatter increases tremendously. Majorly our mind has gone little weak and less calm now, which can very well be reversed. First thing one should do is drop the thought and practice more and more of it. Learn more about dropping thoughts, click here. 2. Change your mindset and your surroundings: Get up, drink water, or take deep breaths, think something else, go for a walk. Just break the pattern of thinking. Maybe do some exercise or cleaning, but it might be difficult to break the pattern during late night hours, as there could be a bigger chance of this happening in the night, as we get more fearful in the dark and at times of sleeping our anxieties can really make our life miserable. Learn how to deal with this situation during the night and how to sleep better, click here. 3. Solution to this problem is mainly understanding it. Understand these are just thoughts, there is nothing wrong with you. Our thoughts are bringing fear along with them.Understand, your mind is a little weak and less calm, it is like a committee of members, each member saying something, but in case of people feeling anxious, what has happened is that negative members are speaking louder and we have fallen in their trap. Don't get scared it's just our thoughts remembering painful events and as we are not aware so everything is scaring us. Learn more about mind acting like a committee of members, click here. 4. Acceptance: Best way to deal with them is, let them come and do not fight them. For example when these thoughts arise, they bring a particular physical feeling or emotion which we don't like. Imagine they are surfacing now, you will always know they are coming, the real issue starts when you start fearing them. What we do is, we start talking to ourselves, you might say someone save me, I'm going crazy, there is no coming out of it, what is this happening to me or we start chatting with that thought with more thoughts. What we are doing is we are getting more scared and fighting with our own thoughts and ourselves in turn increase the intensity of fear. Because we are not accepting our thoughts, we feel this is something happening from outside, it's external and it's a medical problem with mind, but they are simple thoughts. Believe me they are just thoughts fighting them wont help, but accepting them just as thoughts will really do the miracles. Do not attach to ideas,but stay flexible and keep an open mind. It is like a river bed, it has both black and brown sand particles, but the river keeps on moving without stopping. Same way life is a mix of good and bad, but as we get attached to good, the same way we get attached to bad. Let them come and they will go powerless and pass away. Learn more about acceptance, click here. 5.Start meditation: To make our mind strong, you need to learn more about the mind and its modus operandi. Do lots of meditation. When you sit down, you will see how lots of thoughts come in your mind, that is the right time to understand that these are just thoughts, not real you, that is how the mind works and keeps us busy, doesn't let us have a quiet moment. After this understanding cure is easy, understand your mind, see how it thinks, how random it goes from one thing to another. Meditation will teach you that these thoughts have no potential and are completely worthless. With this understanding you can come out of them, make your mind quiet,more stronger which can accept, let go and forgive easily. Any thoughts about the future or past are all worthless, as the past is gone and the future is unknown. But don't listen to me, close your eyes and experience it yourself. Learn how to make small worries into big one, click here. 6.Finding the anchor for your thoughts: Our mind is always chatty, it's like you are a boat in highly turbulent water. Turbulent water here is our mind and boat is you. The boat uses anchorage to settle down in the turbulent water. Same way our mind needs anchorage in order to bring the chatter down. And a quiet mind is a present mind, when you are present you are far away from stresses and worries and all kinds of anxieties. Learn breath meditation or mantra meditation or walking meditation, just reduce the thinking to absolute zero, which is very easily achieved. You will sleep like a baby 7. Patience: Most importantly, these thoughts will keep on coming back, but it will take some practice to handle them, understand their worth, make the mind quiet and aware. It's like developing a muscle which takes time. So do not be scared if they come back, but they will definitely go away. See various other strategies to keep anxiety away, click here. 8. Make friends with fear: Now this is the most important one, fear has such a tremendous power to unsettle everything to a level one can't handle So fighting with fear is absolutely futile. In real life, you won't go fight with giants 4 times your size, we won't call it wise. Same way no one can fight with fear, but you can definitely make friends with it. In my case whenever a panic attack starts to begin or happen, I say "oh there you are, I was just waiting for you, where you were since so long, come sit with me". I have made friends with fear, whenever it's about to come, I welcome it and forcefully ask him to sit down. Next minute it goes powerless and just runs away.
Finally I would like to say, Suicidal thoughts take time to build up and then they also go on repeat mode, makes us feel there is no coming out and this is the only solution. But there is coming out and there is a better solution which is living a happy normal life. So many people are doing it, you can also. Go inside for a solution, not outside. See things with a conscious mind and understand. Nothing can touch you.
9. Exposure Response Prevention: A major reason behind any anxiety is compulsive thoughts. Same thoughts going in repetition over and over again. And one can understand how mind and body are connected. You feel what you think. This is also called OCD for thoughts or intrusive thoughts.
Do you know, just because you are thinking non stop, you have developed an OCD towards your thoughts. Your thoughts have gone highly intrusive and your response to those thoughts is hurting you the most. But you were not born with it, its with time you developed this behavior, which can be easily unwired with right training. That is called ERP training of mind.
You need to train your mind towards the harmlessness of your thought, by exposing your self to your trigger and then staying with your anxiety, till it drops around 50% and doing nothing, no reply back, no talk back, just be with your fear. This way you telling your mind, what you scared of is actually have no power. This will be hard in beginning, but its a long term solution towards your problem. Slowly mind will learn and will stop getting scared from those things. You can meet a certified professional for ERP under guidance or search on you tube for more.
Calm Mind Power
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