Its a normal human instinct, we always have an inclination for planning. In order to secure our future and make most out of the unforeseen and the uncertain. There is nothing wrong with it and this sounds like a perfect solution as well. But then there is a saying if you don't want to be miserable and be peaceful always, then live in present moment as no point worrying about past and future. So planning for future and then staying in present these both seems like a contradicting statements as if one have to live in present always then why need planning for the future? But planning for your future is always encouraged at the same time for reduced stress in life. Which path one should follow?
What to do in this case and have best of the outcomes by being present in the moment and have good strong future at same time. First we need to understand that for every planning to realise there are infinite number of factors involved, which are responsible from stage one to the last. Means whatever preparation you will do, how precise you plan, there will still be things, which we can't have any control on, in any case its 99% of them. So what is in our control, when there is a 99% possibility of failure even with best of planning and execution. Is this mean one should stop working hard or stop planning completely?
Answer is one should reduce the level of attachment to the expectation or the outcome. One should definitely make sure the best of success and picture him as a winner, as that's the only reason we plan and want to do something in our life, but those attachments are the reason which makes it's hard to get back up after failures. That is what we need to change the most, our attachments to the outcomes and expectations.
All the Plans and ideas only turns into failure when we stop working on them, when we give up based on our previous failures. Attachment is what makes the life difficult and harder. Keeping this in mind, always be flexible in mind and ready to accept things the way they happen, without adding or bringing your emotions and feelings in to it. As what we can't control is the outcome, but what we can control is our reaction and behaviour, our attachments, moods and feelings. Raise your level of awareness, click here and read more.
One should never leave any stone unturned when it comes to working hard and achieving your goals. Give your best, but be open to accept the outcome, take the outcome as they way it happens. Obviously there might be case when you won't receive what you planned, but welcome what you have received. It might mean, you have to work little more harder towards your goal, without being too much disheartened and distracted.
It is all about your attitude towards the outcome which matters the most. If that's where you are lacking, then before any planning starts working on attitude building would be the best way to start. As ultimately it comes down to happiness and joy in life. And 100% joy and happiness is only achieved when no outcome can affect your mental peace. If you want to be really peaceful, then first learn to make peace with the situation in front of you. That's what really living in present moment means. Learn how to build positive attitude, click here.
HOW TO NOT ATTACH:
1. Raising Self-Awareness: Most of us are always thinking and this keeps on going in an auto mode. We are doing something and thinking something else, this mind chatter has made us highly unaware of what is right and what is wrong. Our ability towards knowing and understanding of things has gone down while reacting and responding has gone up multi folds. We need to raise our level of self-awareness and reduce these reactions which leads us to form specific attachments and stresses us out.
A calm mind, is close to a mindful mind which can take better decisions with reduced reactions. Learn meditation and make this mind calm, practice mindfulness. This will reduce the reaction and will increase the level of consciousness, then one can clearly see whatever the outcome either positive or negative as the outcome only. True success is when we see either outcome is just an outcome and do not get affected by it. Look for ultimate success not just one side of the coin.
2. Self Reflection: Did you ever notice how many times in the past, we have done planning and how many times we have all received what we planned for? Self reflection and learning from our past experiences is so valuable as going to a school in itself. Our past which is full of failures and achievements teaches us how not to get attached and also teaches us how the outcome we have received is just a temporary stop, not the end of path. It is a small turn in the overall path, once we achieve something, we always go make new goals and mostly after achieving this goal we lose our love for the goal.
Our mind always keeps on presenting us with new goals and new purpose and everytime it says this is most important and if you achieve this everything will change. Instead of we changing as a person, we define ourselves through our goals. But important is to understand that these goals does not define us as a person, as they are just a challenge presented to us by our mind and we always fall for its trap.
The real important thing which we need to learn from self reflection and interrogating our past is, how to be living a good, joyfull, less stressful conscious life. Plus whatever the outcome is, it is still not bigger than life and living. If you lost money, it can be earned back but peace can't be earned rather it is built from inside and this can happen only when you live in present moment, but at the same time of planning for future, but plan consciously without attaching.
3. Patience and Acceptance: Increase the level of patience, acceptance to situations as and when needed. Self reflection on past and self awareness will tremendously help in improving the level of patience and acceptance. Understand we are doing all this to make this life good, we run towards money and fame to feel full and recognised. And when we reach there, ultimately it all comes down to self realisation, calmness, compassion and being humble. You can do all this without money and fame as well. Because being a better person is more important than running for materialistic goals. Believe me being more humble brings bigger fame, money and satisfaction. This universe works in energies and if you give out positive you will receive back positive.
Raising the level of patience and acceptance is one big step in that direction. A direction where you are always content and do not get affected by most of the outcomes, but just always motivated towards doing good.
4. Meditation: Start meditation, bring more understanding towards the mind, how it works and then train the mind well. A mind which is always present in now and is unaffected by past and future. Whatever planning you will do, you will always be present there to execute the plan. If you are not even present while executing the plan then what's the point of all this planning. Unpresent execution will just result in underachievement. Be more present. Learn how to be more mindfulness, click here.
Believe me, once you got this trick in your pocket and you have made a habit out of it. Even a bad outcome or situation won't affect you badly. Because it will be just a situation after all which can be turned around.