Making Choices in Life
Updated: Dec 22, 2020
Kind of life we live is entirely based on the choices we make in every moment of our life presented to us. If you are suffering something right now, there is a big possibility that the choices you are making during those times are highly responsible for the pain you been going through. As per the principle of cause and effect, if there is an action then outcome is bound to happen, now what choice we make in regards to the outcome, that shapes our next action, outcome and life in total. Life actually is a series of choices we make any given moment of our life and based on them are the outcomes we receive.
HOW we are making choice right now:
As you must have experienced, our mind is in constant state of dialogue. If not understood well and necessary steps are taken to know this mind, it will just keep on thinking non stop. We receive inputs of our six sense doors, eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind. Just because of our upbringing, experiences, memories and surroundings we generate certain biases towards things. For eg where certain community doesn't like certain type of food products, other just love eating them.
Now the signal which is coming on these sense doors, they generate sensations on the body. It could be pleasant or could be unpleasant. For example the flower Rose with its beauty and smell generated lots of pleasant sensations, while on the other hand any general flower with no smell and looks generates no feelings on the body. Both flowers has their own characteristics and qualities, but just because one generates good sensations on the body, we tend to like it more. This is how we get judgemental and stop seeing the situation and things the way they are, while becoming so angry and greedy.
Now our mind has another faculty which is memory and imagination. This way over the period of time, we make lots of experiences, which forms our memory. Now based on these memories we start comparing everything and end up making plenty of choices which are not right, as they are coming from a biased system of thoughts. Furthermore, it's always easy to give up as giving up is easy and we are not aware of what we doing.This is how most of us are making choices in life, which are biased, based on a wrong system of decision making and highly influenced by greed, anger, hatred and unstability.
As mentioned above, if not trained well, mind tendency is to eat from the lower ground, this means whatever the situation maybe, first tendency of our mind is to worry and get stressed out. Take any situation, even if you won a million dollar lottery, the first thought what will come in your mind will be the fear of your safety or loosing the money or what to do to make others jealous. Though you might feel safety is important, but point here is that if you give authority to your mind to control your life, most of the choices what it will make is based on unawareness, heavily influenced by thoughts,emotions and perceptions . Learn how to build positive attitude, click here.
Issue is we all know what are better choices, but still we are unable to take them, that is the main problem or area we need to work. Once this training is done well then changing life and reducing suffering will be very easy.We all can point out when it comes to others what he has done wrong, but when it comes to us, we still take wrong decisions.
HOW to make better choices:
Before we jump into the process, one thing which we need to understand and is very crucial to know is that our minds and bodies are highly interconnected. For eg. If you have good thoughts in your mind then you definitely feel good on body and if thoughts are bad then feelings are just simply bad. And they both supplement each other, means our feelings they induce lots of thoughts and thoughts they induce lots of feelings. But they always happens in interconnection, but mind is what actually rules. If we can somehow control mind, then everything can be easily managed.
1. Increasing your level of awareness: First and foremost, one needs to be aware of who is in charge of your mind. If you can make thoughts, stop thoughts, divert thoughts, then you need to be aware of this fact, that you are the one who is making these thoughts. Now if you are the one who is making these thoughts, then why your thoughts is controlling you. Why are we slaves of our thoughts, means these thoughts are definitely yours, but they are not you at any moment of your life.
So stop identifying with them and stop falling for their trap. Like I m not in mood, I m depressed, I can't do this. All these thoughts which we are producing, now they have brought certain feelings on this body. So what we have started doing, because of this experience, we have started identifying too much with them. You are maker of these thoughts and feeling, you are not these thoughts. Let's start by bringing this awareness first.
Plus be more aware of your surroundings, other person behavior and how we make perceptions, this will increase your decision making ability tremendously. We need to increase the awareness towards our mind, how it works, how it operates. There are plenty of ways of increasing your level of awareness, by doing sitting or walking meditation or by making your mind quiet and being present. By being aware, I mean being aware of your thoughts/emotions/feeling and not falling in trap of reactiveness and attachments but rather be present and more calm. We can only make the right choice when we are aware of things.
So learn these techniques of increasing your awareness level and practice them regularly.
2. Staying calm: It is easy to change thoughts and make better decisions, when we are in a calm state of mind, rather than agitated. Try to stay calm even during the adversities of life. Because calmness brings rational thinking and with rational thinking comes the right kind of thoughts and right kind of reaction which will eventually will bring the right outcomes. Letting go is a big technique in order for someone to be more calm, learn more.
3. Increasing the level of your compassion and forgiveness: Everyone is going through some kind of stress, worries and who knows they may be going through something worse than you. That's why always having emotion of love and kindness towards others keeps us calm and cool. Always promote this feeling of compassion and forgiveness inside you, so that whatever the situation maybe, you always have love for the other person inside you. Learn more about forgiveness, click here.
4. Love yourself: To be good to others, to be able to make better choices, first thing needed is love yourself. Believe that you are deserving of every positive energy out there, all the peace and happiness in the world. Believe in yourself being worthy of every goodness out there, this will not only increase your confidence but will also give your power to make better life choices.
5: Staying Humble: Thinking ourselves superior, treating others based on your position in the society or based on you being more talented is one of the biggest weakness. Develop your heart, make it stronger and reduce your sensitivity to hurt. Be compassionate to others, as too much sensitivity towards your own feelings, emotions will make you more reactive and more agitated.
Its very easy to be humble, just increase your patience and calmness level, which again is dependent upon being aware of your thoughts and surrounding. Cultivating humble behavior will bring more peace inevitably in your life and will increase the possibility of being more happier in life and making better choices. Learn better ways to manage your stress and anxiety, click here.
The list goes on, but let's try to increase these few characteristics in your life first. Learn various patterns on how your body react to different situations and that is all what is needed. Once you have identified the body's and minds reactive tendencies then it will become much easier for you to change them and make better choices. Remember our choices defines our life and making positive choices matters much more than taking negative ones if you want to have more peace and happiness in your life.
Calm Mind Power
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