Getting carried away by emotions
Updated: Jan 4
Everyday we all go through plenty of circumstances and situations, be it at work or home. Out of these some events, situations raises the level of our feelings and emotions so high that we end up being overwhelmed by them spoiling our own mood and also people around us. Our emotions they not only control us but even the choices and decisions we make or about to make. For example if someone behaved wrong or does wrong to us, what happens next is we drop our rightful and good behavior, forgets who we really are, but rather get carried away with that particular emotion could be anger or disappointment, we start shouting, screaming, run away, start throwing things and don't even want to listen to anyone, resulting in destroying everything.
Another example, a person who is very cheerful and easy going, a close friend says something mean to him or criticize him. Under the influence of emotions raised by these mean comments this person will lose his own normal calm state and will act entirely in a carried away manner, not only for little while, but maybe for few hours or possibly entire day. Eventually he will also unsettle the life of people around him. Now he is the bad person, whereas the person who instigated this, is having a blast or enjoying their life and there is a 100% chance he don't even know or realizes that his words have affected you in such a big way.
Important thing to Notice here is, that we eventually get over our bad moods, sooner or later. This is time bound letting go and forgiveness. Which shows the power and healing power of time and stresses how everything or anything is impermanent in our life. Means that there is a Power of moving on or forgetting things eventually sooner or later but definitely. But this is a power which is time bound, not a choice bound, it is not a conscious decision made by you, where you decide to let go and forgive on the spot and move on, which is actually the right way. One can definitely choose to stay away from this person, but before that for his own peace he needs to move on from that incident. We should actively make this choice of letting go and forgiving. Learn more about letting go and forgiveness, click here.
MY QUESTION is why can't we let go of things/moods instantly, rather getting carried away by them and run away from peace we deserve while keep on rolling in that pain or suffering of what's been said. We need to train ourselves to be strong mind and have to drop the emotion in a conscious manner, where we make an active choice of letting go and forgive things. The answer of why we can't is simple, it's because of our ego. Our ego makes us feel that something wrong has been done, I have been hurt really bad, how inconsiderate the other person could be and why is he so mean to me, I am always good to him. So all this craving for self attention makes letting go difficult. This I, ME and MINE takes away our peace and normalcy away.
But if we understand the exact reality of things. Ego is just a self made illusion, which is far away from reality, where we absolutely crave for attention and sympathy always from others, where we try to control everything around us and undertake things through the lens of I, me and mine. Instead of being closer to the reality, we are majorly closer to self centeredness and illusion of this body.
We need to understand these facts.
1. We can't control 99% of things around us, except us, how we behave, how simple we keep things and how we take things.
2. Things will surely change and death is inevitable. It can happen anytime, so all these attachments, expectations we have made have very weak base, this structure can fall anytime.
3.Our ego which is based on I, Me and Mine. But this I, me and mine is a big illusion. As our body, everyone is same if we go down to last atom, this body is just a assembly of bones, blood and sac of organs (Look at any autopsy being performed). We are exactly the same mix of material as as every other person.
4. Unawareness: Other person, same as us is highly unaware of his actions and of what he doing. He is not conscious of his own actions, he has same attachments and expectation as we do. He is constantly under the influence of his thoughts and his emotions. He is also highly reactive same as us.
Why then are we letting our ego and ignorance overpower us, rather then being more humble and compassionate from inside? Why not make this letting go, detachment process super fast and make this life peaceful and relaxed?
HOW TO DO THIS:
By Understanding the whole process of emotional buildup:
It is in-fact very easy, every emotions comes up with signs and signals on the body. Whenever something is said to you, first and foremost we have to check the sensations on our body and then we have to get over our build up feelings, it could be anger or rage or revenge or greed etc. What you will feel is either burning sensation, high heart beat, heavy head, choke of emotions, sweating or feeling of pins and needles on body, or choke in our throat.
1. First, do nothing, but practice seeing or checking these sensations being building up.
2. Bring these sensations back to zero thereby calming yourself down. By accepting your thoughts, by coming into present moment and aware of your surroundings, mental formations and body sensations. Maybe do walking meditation, sitting meditation, breaking the pattern of thinking by doing something else. Basically we are finding a anchor for your thoughts which could be your breath.
3. After calming ourselves, take a deep breath and forgive the other person. Understand it's you who is bothering you, not him, not his reality or his behavior. But it is your inability to let go, your ego who has taken everything on itself, who doesn't understand how we work under ignorance.
4. Understand, the other person being mean or critical can't be controlled by you, but what is controlled by you is your understanding of how your body produces various reactions and how we can not let them get over us and make us angry or greedy. Plus why it's important for your own peace not to be hyper reactive. How to control mind and listen to right voice, learn more.
5. Plus you have to make choice on how important are these words said by others or the feelings they instigate which are letting us getting carried away like this, why do they have the power of controlling us that much and how long can they keep on affecting us like this or can we let all of this go and make our life peaceful and happy.
6. Also see the impact of your calmness and peacefulness on people around you. How are we affecting the environment and peace of people around us?
The answer to these questions is very simple, this all is happening because we are not aware of our body and our reactions, because we are always busy in our thoughts and living this world through them, rather then being connected to actual reality. Learn how to bring positive change in your attitude, click here.
It is so important to have compassion towards others, try to raise your level of compassion as much as you can. Just see, what others are doing is simply a reactive decision made unconsciously, they are not completely aware of what they're doing. Forgive them, show them love and just move on. Raising you compassion level will help you in incremental way towards understanding others and making your own life highly calm and happy. Learn more about awareness, click here.
Furthermore, see and experience that these thoughts are ever changing and highly impermanent. They will go away and they will be replaced by some new ones and new problems will take control of our mind and this is a loop in itself. Do not fall for them, but rather be more mindful, use the minds power to reason for making better life choices, being aware of your surroundings and your sensations.
Believe me you are spoiling your mood over a thing which is not worth sweating. That person don't even remember what he said to you, he might be mean to you, but he must be thinking he was just joking and teasing, because we all behave in same way, sometimes even we do this to others. So it is not even sensible spoiling your whole day for such small thing. Be the bigger person, make conscious decisions to make your life more peaceful. Learn more about your purpose of life, click here.
Calm Mind Power
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