How can I stop myself from being so emotional?
Updated: Aug 6
Suffering comes in so many ways, it won't just happen from our own thoughts and problems, sometimes others play a big role in agonizing us and instigating that pain which no one likes. We all live in society surrounded by hundreds of people at any given time. Plenty of them we know and many we don't.
As human beings we love control, we love certainty and predicted outcomes, we all have tendencies to do things which have low to zero risk. But reality is we can't control 99% of things happening and future is uncertain and unpredictable. But as mentioned what is our first instinct we want to control everything, either the people or the event itself. We want things the way we want and when they don't, we feel offended, angry and disappointed. Which then becomes the reason for our suffering, so the main culprit is our love for control and certainty.
Why this happens? Is it because things doesn't go the way we want or just because we are too afraid to let go. Let go of the desire for specific outcomes and our ego or let go of the expectations from the other persons. Because we just simply wants to controls everything, others and our surroundings.
Until and unless we make letting go as the integral part of our living, our issues, worries and problems they will keep on surrounded us and make our life full of sufferings, pain and hurt.
How to get Instant freedom from our sufferings which are surrounding us.
1. Behavioral Acceptance towards the attachments and how we make them: We need to reflect and evaluate on our behavior and accept first of all that we make these attachments and wants to control each and everything coming our way. Until we learn why and how we make attachments it very hard to change them. Once we get this, next step will be much easier. Learn how we get carried away by emotions, click here.
2. Let go: Just drop the thoughts, perceptions, judgments we are making for any given particular scenario. We cannot control 99% of things happening around us, we cannot control the behavior of our loved ones, our family, our kids or the outcome of hard work we putting toward something. No one can predict things or be absolute certain about anything. The only one thing which we can control is us and our behaviour. We need to drop the thought, idea, belief arising in our mind, just be flexible and open towards anything and everything presented to us.
Instead of reacting towards things which goes against us, just observe it and then drop the arising thought, emotion and feeling right there and move forward with no baggage of any kind in our heart. In the beginning this will seem hard, but with time and practice we can really make it work and the stress of emotions much less. How to drop thoughts, click here.
3.Understanding towards How life works: A day will come when everything will finish and we will leave this body and earth. There was a day when we were 1 year old and there will be a day when we will be 80 years old and one day we die. The only thing which is true, is we are changing every moment and nothing stays permanent. The only thing permanent is the unconditional, the vacant space around us, as that will always be vacant. Everything else conditional will depreciate and deteriorate, but not this space. Close your eyes and try to see inside you and you will only and only see this huge vacant space or vacuum inside you. That's where, in that quiet and emptiness, the ultimate peace is, so if you want peace, stop overthinking, stop those attachments to things, beliefs and ideas, just see things as they come and be open minded and flexible to them. Don't get easily moved by things, as there only nature is just passing away. No point having this love for excessive control.
4. Prioritizing what is more important for you: Is it suffering or peace? If you want peace, you will find a solution, else suffering is just everywhere. Our tendency is, we get attracted to suffering easier than peace. We make attachments more easier than letting go. We prefer and find comfort in attachments rather than being free from them. If things are not bothering us, we feel something is wrong.
Now this is a conscious choice we have to make, is it time to be free or you still like to keep on rolling in this wheel of hurt and suffering. Prioritize your decision and the way you want to live this life. Choose between freedom or bondage, control and let go. See how your mind is like a committee of members, click here.
5: Meditation and knowing yourself: One can only grow when you know oneself well and aware of everything you are doing or going through. Because awareness is the only thing which will open all these doors, which are closed by our greediness, anger and desires. There is no other way than meditation for knowing yourself and how your mind works. Sit down close your eyes, slow down things and see how your mind works and runs towards things, towards the control it wants to gain and keeps you always busy with thoughts, worries, emotions, feelings, making several attachments towards worldly affairs and keeping us away from the freedom we want. Freedom from worries, stresses and traps of sufferings. Learn how our mind wants us to suffer, by running towards one kind of attributes and running away from other.
Instant freedom is just there, a simple choice which we needs to make between holding on to something or just drop it or let go of it. Learn about yourself and what is the actual reality of things. What kind of gains are coming from this control, if nothing is coming then maybe start this journey of peace and calm.
Calm Mind Power
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