More Peace with Forgiveness.
Updated: Feb 1
As Buddha Said" Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace"
Before we begin this topic, forgiveness should not be just forgiveness, but it should be forget-ness as well. Once forgiven, just forget the event, don't use forgiveness as an opportunity for leverage in future. Most of us live a half life, majority of the time, we simply are not even aware of what we are doing. Just buried under the pile of continuous thoughts and emotions, just unaware of our own presence towards our actions and life overall.
If you see through this angle, you will see that mistakes are bound to happen. Now everyone makes ample mistakes and our lives are full of errors. But the bright side to this is, it is also a key method via which the human race has come so far and developed itself. Forgiveness has always played a very important role, if we don't forgive others and our own failures then we cannot move to the next step. And this forgiveness is not just important for everyone's growth but also very important for our own mental peace.
Remember, It's easy to earn money but it's hard to be at peace, as to be at peace it demands to have an absolute clear mind, it's like the event never has ever happened. Learn to make right choices in life, click here.
A thing to notice is, definitely kindness is a part of everyone's heart, everyone forgives, but the way forgiveness happens is something of a concern. Either, we run away from that person, means we just start ignoring him and if we can't run away we will use it as a leverage and make sure to make it count that we have done favor by forgiving him and we will keep on bringing the event again and again.
But in reality, that's not why we forgive or is the meaning of forgiveness, real forgiveness is when you just forget the incident even happened and accept that person as the same person he was before the incident. This type of forgiveness won't only help you achieve peace at personal level, but will be very important towards the growth of the other person. Plus forgiving this way will make sure, automatically the other person won't repeat the mistake again.
How to achieve this..
1. Awareness: Awareness towards your actions, emotions and thoughts, this is the first and far most important factor. Without the right awareness, bringing the change is possible but to a very limited extent. Only when you are aware, come to sense with your present, established in reality and not associate yourself with your thoughts,feelings and emotions, you can make the right call and come to the level of forgiveness expected. Learn more about awareness, click here.
2. Meditation: Awareness comes with understanding, understanding of how our mind works, how it keeps us busy with thoughts, how we are intertwined with thoughts of past and events of future, how these thoughts are responsible for all the emotions and feelings we go through. For this we need to sit down, do meditation, as with meditation only you can clearly see all of this and once you seen this you can easily start to detach from your thoughts, emotions and feelings. Hence be more present and aware.
3.Experiencing the Impermanence: We all need to understand that time is the biggest healer. Imagine this, whatever the cause or reason for our resentment is, we always forget the event or others did to you over the period of time and even if that doesn't happen over a period of time then at death it certainly will. Believe me no one knows when death will come, every moment comes with a 50% possibility of death. So things like your grudges, revenges, egos all stop at death. Which means that things are impermanent and time is the biggest example of telling us that we always move forward no matter what.
If that's the case, why not make an active choice of forgiving and forgetting, rather than just keeping things in mind forever. Learn how we make a small worry to big one, click here.
4. Metta Meditation: This is also called love and kindness meditation. You can find so many guided metta meditation clips on youtube. We all need to mellow our heart down and spread lots of love and kindness in the world around us. Our mind, if not trained well, keeps on going back to its regular way of operating, it doesn't want to stay full of goodness and love.
Training is absolutely essential, else it will slip into its old ways, then we are bound to do mistakes and take wrong calls afterwards. Try to do love and kindness meditation every morning or at least say kind words towards everyone when you wake up, be a vessel of love and compassion. Words like May all be peaceful, may all be happy, may all be blessed by love and happiness. Forgiveness comes very easy to a calm, loving mind.
5. Treat others, the way you wanted to be treated: We know no one is perfect, so lets lead by example. There could be times when you seek others for their forgiveness. How would you feel when someone refuses to forgive or forgive you but in reality he does not. Lets react and behave in a way, the other person wants to be treated.
Lets lead by example, let go of the hurt and forgive with open mind.
Sometimes our close friend or loved one says something to us and we get so upset that we decide to move on and forget the person. But before doing that, we should also understand that the person is the same person, with whom we fall in love with, then how come with just one word or one of his/her deeds we get so upset that we start hating that person and in turn destroys our own peace.
Forgiveness is one of the best tools anyone can have, we should forgive the person and forget the word or deed completely, instead of forgetting the person. With forgiveness you can save your friends as friends and at the same time achieve the ultimate peace in your own life. Be forgiving and achieve peace.
Calm Mind Power.
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