Dealing with Failures.
Updated: Mar 2
Without an input there is no output and these outputs shape everything about us and around us. I'm talking about how our body and mind do things. We have six sense doors mainly eyes(Sight), ears(Sound), nose(Smell), tongue(Taste), mind(Thought) and body(Touch). Whatever signal we receive comes on these doors first and believe me, we receive so many signals everyday, which no one has any control over.
As you cannot close your eyes or stop the air flowing around you. So inputs are in no one's control, but what we can control is the output, it seems scary, but it's just so beautiful as we can control the output. These outputs they make our karmas and these Karmas then act as fuel for this body, life and for our destiny. Now based on these inputs our body generates sensations, which could either be pleasurable sensations or could be unpleasant ones. For eg if we compare a flower rose which is beautiful and smell amazing, as compared to an ordinary flower with no smell and looks. Now, what will happen is our body will generate pleasant sensations and based on those pleasant sensations because of the beauty and smell of rose, resulting in biased perceptions towards rose as compared to other flower, where the ordinary flower has done nothing wrong, both are the creation of the same universe.
Now these unaware perceptions made by us, these judgements of good and bad is all that makes us develop plenty of attachments, expectations and makes us run towards things which produce pleasurable feelings and we start mistaking them as happiness. This way the whole cycle begins towards attachments, expectations, anger and greed. But both flowers are the creation of the same universe and the universe made them bad or good, it gave them both everything the same. It's our unawareness towards these sensations which results in this discrimination. If we just simply understand this phenomenon of how we create perceptions towards things. If we can manage to put a check on these sensations and learn to take them without discriminating, then in reality there is no good and bad in our life also. Life is all just happiness. Now every input produces one perception and opinion, an opinion which takes us away from the reality of the situation, which if not checked can often lead to major dent in one's self confidence, self belief and makes us prone to things like anxiety, stress, fear. Plus, as you know every situation involves thousands of external variable factors resulting in making the output of the situation and event out of our control. I'm not saying one is absolutely helpless and there is no hope, which is not the reality, as the most important thing which is in our control as mentioned above is our reaction towards things and that is what all that matters. So the point is because of the unawareness on how we make discrimination towards things and how we react unknowingly is the main reason towards most of the issues we face and things which are not happening rightfully in our life. One bad experience and we attach so many opinions on our being that sometimes it leads us to very dark and wrong paths. A right understanding is absolutely necessary on how things happen and how we should be reacting and taking them, in order to make this life absolute peace and pleasure.
For eg: when we fail or do not achieve our goals or get defeated by the circumstance our mind surrounds ourselves with plenty of opinions like you are not capable enough, you don't deserve this, you are not meant for this, you made a wrong decision. Overall our mind loses its rationale and this drags us to the unmotivated discouraged self. Learn how we get carried away by our emotions, click here. How to Deal with this: 1. Observation: Raising your Observation skill is the biggest way for dealing with such situations. The first thing our body generates is the sensations and then comes the perception of right and wrong. Then we form experiences and memories. Now this becomes a protocol for our body and mind. Every time something similar happens, our body gives exactly the same reaction. Now this becomes our habit and pattern of our life. Outcome> Sensations> Judgmental Perception> Thoughts> Emotions> Energy we give out. By observation of sensation, seeing them as just they are. One can simply stop the whole process and turn their life around. By observation I mean, observing the situation right at the beginning, just seeing whatever the outcome is, just as it is. By not attaching any kind of expectation or opinion to things. Seeing the reality of the outcome as just an outcome and taking care of our reactions, one can change everything. Failure doesn't define anything, but just is a lesson to work harder, being persistent towards your effort and as you know practice makes you more tough and strong.
Outcome> Sensations> Observing the sensation > Stop. Just observe your situation and do not attach any kind of opinions towards the outcome. And even if you have to attach some opinion, then attach the right ones, opinions of moving forward, doing your best and working harder. Because in our mind we see reality as something different, we change the reality by adding opinions to it, but if you just see the reality just simply as that one event without adding any kind of thought, then lots can change. Learn more about awareness, click here 2. Developing a muscle of positive thinking: Every situation comes with 2 choices and this depends on you which choice you will make. Our mind always has the tendency to choose the defeat as that is always the easy way out, putting oneself in a position of sympathy gainer and attention seeker. Our mind always wants us to go towards the negative, but believe me we will find short relief in complaining, but the longer relief, happiness even money is in the process of thinking positive. It now depends on you, if you want short term sympathy and attention from others or a long term happiness for yourself? Next time, whenever the situation asks for it, challenge yourself and choose positive, think positive. Believe me, the universe will provide an abundance of opportunities when you just make this small but profound change of thinking positive. Learn about positive thinking and manifestation, click here. 3. Slowing down the thought process: You must have noticed this big time, that your mind is always in a mode of constant thinking, whatever or wherever you are, you are in an auto thinking mode. Auto mode means you are not aware of what you are thinking, how will you correct something when it is running in auto mode. So the first step would be to slow down whatever you are thinking. So do meditation, go for meditation courses (Vipassana is one of the best ones available), go for solitary walks, sit in quiet, do yoga etc...All these things will help you catch your mind and reduce its auto thinking. 4. Kid Inside you: Everyone has a little kid inside of him, this kid has gone through lots of traumas, fears and circumstances. When that kid wanted safety, he didn't get safety but rather was given harsh treatment. And it's hard to control people coming into your life when you are little. So I believe, every now and then you need to jump inside your own body, close your eyes and tell that kid that he is strong enough, he can deal with things, he is safe and protected. Go one step ahead and see him laughing, playing and cheerful. Also make him forgive everyone because of whom he feels he is in fear. So close your eyes, jump inside and see yourself as a kid and see yourself doing all this. This will certainly bring that calm you are looking for, which will strengthen your rational thinking and eventually will bring more control over your fear, emotions and reactions. Our reactions count a lot towards shaping our experience. Experience is all what develops our self image. Now we have to choose what kind of self image we want, a strong one or a weak one.
Calm Mind Power
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