Coping up with harmful thoughts coming to mind and make life easy.
Updated: Apr 12
When we are under continuous stress, there are certain thoughts they start bothering us. Out of these arrays of thoughts coming in mind, some thoughts become compulsive. Not all thoughts bother you, there are certain thoughts which stresses you the most, they are based on some unfulfilled desires and some dissatisfaction. These are the thoughts which haunts us the most and are the thoughts which go compulsive.
We can also call them thoughts of doubt. These thoughts which are based on some dissatisfaction or unfulfilled desire, if not understood well, they have no other way to go, but to grow bigger in size. In no time you will start doubting everything coming to mind, and this change is very rapid as well. Because fear is the only emotion which is left unchecked, can lead to corrupting everything happening to you.
Furthermore, as body and mind are highly interconnected, thereby a long term exposure to fear can make arising bodily feelings and sensation hyper active. You can feel the waves of unpleasant sensations arising on the body, thereby slowly making it difficult to cope up with this corruption happening in your mind, where now everything is controlled by fear. We can call this combination of thoughts and sensations on the body as anxiety or panic attack.
Too much unpleasantness is the reason for the harmful thoughts coming to mind. As per our natural behavior we only want pleasant sensations, but this too much unpleasantness brings lots of uncomfortable emotions, thoughts and feelings. We feel stuck with these negative feelings and see no coming out and it becomes so unbearable that harmful thoughts become a part of our normal behavior. Over a period of time, a person's belief keeps on getting stronger and stronger that there is no solution, he or she has gone mentally insane and there is no hope at all. Some instances end up harming themselves in one way or the other.
Lets jump in deeper:
Important thing to notice is , whenever you are anxious or anxiety is about to begin, it all starts with a thought of worry about the future which in turn brings a lot of fear. This fear is what actually brings the panic attack and makes you anxious.
Question is where is that fear coming from? Who is making you anxious? Is there a ghost or a person standing out there who is scaring you? Or have the future event you are thinking about told you itself, whatever you do, it won't happen? Or the doubt you are having, has only one possibility, it will definitely go bad with 100% certainty?
OR IS IT JUST YOU??
The answer is: It's just you and the things which we misunderstand as us. Our thoughts scare us more than the reality of the things itself. But if you see, you are not your thoughts. Your thoughts can be yours, but they are never you. If you can stop thinking or can change your thinking it means you are making them, they are not making you. Plus your whole thinking process is just an accumulation. '
You have gathered this thinking process over the period of time, you can ask yourself is there anything in the world which you do not know? Even things which you do not know, you still have the realization that you do not know. If you are a car mechanic, you cannot think about problems which a rocket goes through, as you do not know that area. Hence, your whole thoughts process is just an accumulation.
We fall for these mind tricks all of the time, meaning a thought of any unfulfilled desire and dissatisfaction is also just a thought, but we make the mistake of taking them as us. They become harmful when we start taking them as more than what they are. We need to learn how to stop this association with our thoughts, how to bring distance from our mind, otherwise just because we take them as us, one day we feel so frustrated that we start harming ourselves. Whenever a stress signal comes through a thought, we just personalize it or take it to the heart and feel it's happening to us and bring on that unnecessary worry, anxiety and panic thereby bringing suffering to this beautiful life.
It is must to know this, harmful thoughts are the side effect, main issue is you are not able to come out of your compulsive thinking. Once we deal with your anxiety issue, then these thoughts of harm will stop automatically. Learn to use the right kind of intelligence, click here.
How to deal with thoughts of harming yourself?
1. Increasing your level of awareness: First and foremost, one needs to be aware of who is in charge of your mind. If you can make thoughts, stop thoughts, divert thoughts, then you need to be aware of this fact, that you are the one who is making these thoughts. Now if you are the one who is making these thoughts, then why your thoughts are controlling you. Why are we slaves of our thoughts, means these thoughts are definitely yours, but they are not you. The first mistake we do is we take them as us and start personalizing everything which comes to our mind.
We need to stop identifying with them and stop falling for their trap. Like I'm not in the mood, I'm depressed, I can't do this. All these thoughts which you are producing, now they have brought certain feelings on this body. We have started identifying too much with them. You are the maker of these thoughts and feelings, you are not these thoughts. Let's start by bringing this awareness first.
2. Mind and Body Connection: We need to notice this, that our mind and body are highly interconnected. What thoughts come to your mind, you feel them on your body. If you think something bad, then you will get bad feelings while good thoughts bring good feelings. And reverse is also true, a bad feeling can trigger a chain of bad thoughts and this goes in a circle. What I want you to understand is what we call anxiety is our own creation through our thoughts and then personalizing them too much.
You make thoughts but you are not your thoughts. Similar way you make sweat but you are not your sweat. So if a thought is coming to your mind which says I can not do this or I am helpless. Remember you are the one who is creating them, they are yours, but they are not you. Means you can definitely do it and you are not helpless at all.
3. Observing the thought/ Stop replying back/Stop the conversation: Our mind and the thoughts arising in it are the only troubles which makes our life difficult. No one from outside disturbed us more than our mind from inside and the best way to deal with our mind is to not react to it and the thoughts it makes. But rather whatever is the thought coming in the mind, deal with it by just observing it. Rather than going into deep conversation with you fear with reasons and rationale. Develop mindfulness and see things as it is, the way they are. Thoughts are just thoughts and feelings just the arising outcome.
Overall increase your observation power and acceptance power, observation towards your thoughts and upcoming actions rather than reaction to them. We react in the following way: with our actions, or by talking back in our mind to our mind(to ourselves) or the negative self talk/indulging in conversation with our own thoughts in our mind. Best thing is increasing the observance, acceptance, awareness and reducing the reaction.
4. One Day at a time or small steps: No one knows what the future will bring, we don't even know what the next minute will bring. Worrying about something which is happening somewhere down the line, plus we don't even know if that thing will really happen. In my experience 99% of things we worry never happens. There are two outcomes, either good or bad, if it's good why worry and if it's bad then you can't do much about it until you know how bad, why worry even then as you will get a chance to deal with it also.
Best is staying positive about the future or the outcome or work with a mindset of indifference towards your outcome, taking things step by step when they arise and live life day at a time, rather worrying about the mountain of life ahead. Learn how to deal with Uncertainty, click here.
5. Mindfulness/Meditation: There is no other way then meditation in terms of understanding your mind and understanding the reality or value of your thoughts. Do a meditation course and learn how to be mindful, go easy on yourself and life. How not to convert a small worry to over worry, learn here.
6. Life is in present: Your past was your present once and your future will also be your present one day, what you are suffering is just your memory of past and imagination of future. Whatever the situation might be, you will be present there 100%, without you being there, the existence of that thing you worry about is impossible. And with you being there, you will always have the power to make the right choice and with the right choice you can change your past or future. So whenever you are worried raise your awareness/mindfulness level, come live in present, believe me worry will leave you like it was never there.
7. Ignoring the thought/Accepting the thought/Observing the thought(All Same): Another good way and my personal favorite is just ignoring the thought, whenever I get anxious I just start ignoring my own thoughts, in other words let them come, go to my anchor and don't fight them. Within minutes I become mindful, fear goes away and so do my anxiety or the fear no longer governs the thinking and thereby panic goes away.
Ignoring the thought or Accepting your thought or Observing the thought they all mean the same, they just bring you straight into the present moment. With the present moment you stop creating thoughts and then eventually stop personalizing them.
8. Find an Anchor for your mind: Finding the anchor for your thoughts: Our mind is always chatty, it's like you are a boat in highly turbulent water. Turbulent water here is our mind and boat is you. The boat uses anchorage to settle down in the turbulent water. Same way our mind needs anchorage in order to bring the chatter down. And a quiet mind is a present mind, when you are present you are far away from stresses, worries and all kinds of anxieties. Learn breath meditation or mantra meditation or walking meditation they all will help reduce the thinking to absolute zero and peace will be very easily achieved. Learn Why Anxiety keeps on coming back, click here.
Hope you understood by now, it's only you who add wood to fire and make things worse. Your own indulgence with your own thoughts leads you to the feeling of anxiety and panic. So the best solution is not indulging, stop the reply. Once anxiety is settled, harmful thoughts won't worry you.
Calm Mind Power
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