Learn how to Build Positive Attitude
Updated: Dec 22, 2020
In life, attitude is all that matters, that is how we deal with things and situations. Almost 99% of things/situations are out of our control, they come out of no-where, sit on our shoulders and we can't do much about them. It doesn't mean we are completely powerless, we always have a power in our hands and that is the power of how we deal with what has now become the burden of our shoulder. Means what is not in our hand is the external environment, but the internal choices are definitely ours to make. What we also call as attitude.
Many years ago, I had a shoulder pain and it stayed around for 4 years. I went to see physiotherapists, did acupuncture, dry needling but the issue just lingered on. One day I just changed my sleeping pillows and next day the entire problem went away.
This is just one of the smaller example saying lots of pains will come without any reason and stay there for as long as they want to, we will spend thousands of dollars on them to find the solution but just one day a small change and they will go away like a wind.
There will be so many situations we will face, they will have tremendous power to create big turmoils, will become an obstacle in our normal living, don't know how long they will stay for, but one thing is for sure. They won't be there for ever. There will be a day when this pain will go away. Important factor to notice here is that life of a pain is not forever, it will die one day without doubt.
What to do when pain is still there, any kind of pain no matter how small or big, is a suffering for sure, it will definitely create a disturbance in our normal day to day living. And most of the times the factor which causes this pain is not in our control and how long will this stay for, no one can predict that as well. What really is in our control is our attitude towards the pain.
By attitude I meant, do you become more complaining and negative or stay calm towards your situation and deal with it in an more understandable way. Of course there are sufferings and disturbances, hurts which will affect us badly, don't know for how long and but we can surely work on the how much factor. We can reduce the intensity with which it affects our life. Just simply by taking a positive approach towards it, observing the pain, being less reactive towards it and staying calm towards it. Obviously one has to take steps or medication( If needed) to cure it, but till the time it is there, let's learn to tackle it more rationally.
How to work and change our attitude.
1. Learning from your past: Many times in past as well, we came across plenty of disturbing situations and you must have noticed, even back then our attitude was just the same which was just complaining. One day that problem went away but what did not change was our attitude towards those kind of situations. Obviously life goes in circles and painful days might come back. We need to learn from our past and see the issue as just mere impermanent, just a passing away thing.
As human beings, we are over obsessed with complaining, we find fault in everything and we love criticism. Because we love complaining so much, we often get attached to it, we find some unusual satisfaction in complaining. Maybe it's time to reflect on past and learn to let go of our critical behaviour, bring calmness and surrender to such situations, use positive reinforcement as a strategy to deal with painful situations and drop all the negative satisfactions. As nothing stays forever, everything changes sooner or later. Learn how to let go, click here. Process of Letting Go.
2. Reduce Reaction. Our reaction to things have really gone high, a small word or action carries a immense power to motivate us towards committing heinous crimes. We need to reduce our reactions to things. Reacting unnecessary under the control of our ego can lead to choices which will harm us and everyone around us. Why we are so reactive because we are not even aware of our reactions, how small small things upset us, how we are ready to explode all the times. This awareness will come with mindfulness, until and unless we aren't aware of our behaviour we cannot change it.
Pick a time in a day, when you are most busy, so instead of doing things in a rush, do things slow and more mindful, remember what you are doing. Make this a regular practice, this will not only reduce your reactive-ness, but will also make you much more in control at the same time. Be a good listener, reduce your curiosity, rather increase the calmness and contentedness towards things. Learn more about what is awareness and how to be more aware, click here.
3. Listening skills: It is connected to the last point, we all are always in a hurry to answer, to reply back. Sometimes we don't even want to listen to what others are saying, we just listen to first few words and start with our response. Most of us overtalk over other people and same happen to us also. Listening skills are really crucial and one of the biggest skill one can develop. If you want peace and calmness in life, then improving listening skills is the first place one should look at.
Once a day, practice this skill where you just listen to the other person and while listening don't think of replying, just listen and stay quiet. Its like watching a TV where you just see and do not say anything. More listening will increase your patience level, reduce the reactivity and change your attitude towards life and its arising complications. Calmness will lead you to higher stability and more peace.
4. Taking proper treatment: Take your medication and complete your course, don't skip on medication. Your recovery will surely add to your experience and to strengthening your positive attitude at the same time, which will give rise to a chain reaction for quicker healing. Every action counts, if your treatment can even ignite a small spark of positivity, then it will bring a big impact on your self image, this self image will lead you to path of faster recovery. Every ray of light counts, we never know which method will ignite that spark of strength in our heart. That is all we need, a strong heart made of steal.
5. Visualization Meditation: This is a kind of meditation where we see us in that scenario where we have already healed or achieved our goals. Do this meditation on a daily basis just close your eyes while 10 minutes after waking up or before sleeping, as you will not only feel better but at the same time you will have a good experience in regards to your current situation. And as you know experience improves the self image, a better strong self image will play a good role in making our attitude positive and start the chain reaction of betterment.
6. Impermanence and Awareness: Going back to our first point in this article, interrogation, self reflection, investigation is extremely important for right and true understanding. investigate, interrogate your present and self reflect on your past, learn from the past and based on those reflections and experiences, we need to change our current behavior. We go through similar kind of problems all the times, but we never learn from them.
Check how everything changes from good to bad and bad to good, life keeps on moving forward. But we sometimes get attached to beliefs, people and events, which goes against us only. Learn from the reflections, pasts and be more aware of things and events happening around you See the impermanence factor behind things, see how they keep on changing. Start changing your behavior, side the positives, become more aware of your surroundings, how things unwrap and change your attitude. Be more accepting of the change, learn how to be more accepting, click here.Acceptance
I would like to say this, universe works in energies, what we attract depends on what kind of energy we put out. If you give out just negativity, we will only attract wrong things. So train your mind, build positive attitude, if you want to attract good things. There are so many things which we can't take control off, but what we can control is how we look at things. Stay positive.
Calm Mind Power
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