Top suggestions for getting out of Depression and Anxiety?
Updated: May 23, 2021
Top Suggestions for getting out of Anxiety:
MOST IMPORTANT one is DOING NOTHING: STOP THE SELF TALK...
Thoughts are just THOUGHTS but also the reason why we suffer. And out of all the thoughts, thoughts of fear and doubt are mostly responsible for our pain, anxieties and panics. Because mind and body are highly connected, what we think is what we feel on the body. Furthermore, feelings which a scary thought brings is the hardest to get rid off.. Now whenever doubt or fearful thoughts arise, the first thing we do is self talk. We start convincing our self, rationalizing our thoughts.
Understand you are just fighting with your thoughts, what you see as convincing or rationalizing is in fact non acceptance of your thoughts as just thoughts, but you are actually making them something bigger than thoughts. You are giving your thoughts too much power and because they are producing the feelings on body, we start taking them as us.
The only way to NOT associate with our thoughts and just take them as harmless thoughts is to observe them, so if you are doing lots of self talk to convince or rationalize your arising thoughts, then get it, you are just playing a game with your mind and the only winner will be your mind. The best solution is see them the way they are, don't make them, something they are not. Stop the SELF TALK when there is fear or doubt and any negative thoughts arising in mind. Self talk is a sign of giving up to your fears and doubts, rather the accepting then as they are, just thoughts.
Let them be there and you will see less you talk to them, more faster they will go away and you will find your solution. otherwise you are holding onto them and they will keep on haunting you and make you miserable.
Other Important Points as Below:
1. Accept the feeling or Observe your thoughts: Issue only starts when we start fighting our feelings, majorly it's the feeling of fear. See fear comes when you are not satisfied about some event in future. Its never about past or present. Fear is majorly because of our imagination about some event in future. Not we are not only making memory of bad sensations with fear, but worrying about something totally irrelevant. Believe me when that event will come, which you scared about, you will be present there to take care of it. And if its just an imagination then its not real to begin with anyways. Why worry about something unrealistic.
Don't fight the feeling, accept it and let it come, stop running away from the feelings. It is just a body's reaction to a negative thought. Don't get affected by these thoughts, they have no power on you. By fighting them we give them power which makes us only go deep into anxiety. What we do is, we retaliate to those thoughts, emotions or feelings by talking back to them, trying to convince ourselves something is wrong with me or indulging in conversation with ourselves and doubting our future. Instead of this we should accept these thoughts, it's like observing your thoughts and not reacting to them. We just finding solution through intellect, memory and Identity. But we should be choosing the 4th Intelligence which is awareness. Learn to choose the right intelligence, click here.
Do this exercise regularly, stop reacting to people by reducing your urge to answer and even replying back. Increase your listening skills and eventually you will see improvement in your own observing/acceptance skills and reduction in our passion to prove or show the power of superiority. Listening skills are just not towards others, but it's also toward yourself and your own thoughts, feelings and emotions. A good listener is a great observer, as you are reducing your reactions to fears and bad feelings.
2. Observe the thought: I have mentioned this before many times, over and over, another way of accepting a thought is observe the thought and stopping the feelings right before they rise up. The moment the thought begins, if you can't accept the thought then try to observe the thought. Just don't care about it, it will try to barge in forcefully, but the key is to observe. It's similar to sometimes ignoring the crying tantrums of a baby. Learn more about observing your thoughts click here.
3. Interrogating your Thoughts: Is always good to go to the base of the thoughts. Interrogate this fear, why and from where this thought is arising, what is the root cause of it, does the doubt which is starting this panic feeling has no solution? If there is a solution then tell yourself and believe me the solution will reduce the intensity of the anxiety.
4. Staying calm and Not getting Scared: What a panic attack will do is, it will make you restless and feel helpless. It will make you believe that there is no coming out of this helplessness, there is no hope and you are going to go crazy. In these moments calmness plays a very big role, staying patient and believing it's combinations of mental and physical reaction, which has just started because of some thoughts and is nothing more than that, recognizing how not to get carried away by emotions.
The experience of panic attack is very scary, but it's not difficult to maintain calmness during that period. Stay calm, this fear or panic has no power or base, it's just your thoughts. They can do any damage and affect you when you give in. Just stay calm and try to become as present in the moment as you can and based on the law of impermanence these feelings will go away straight.
5. Understanding mind: Happy thoughts never bother you, then why sad thoughts bother you. Two things to learn here, first don't get affected by thoughts take them as they are. Either negative or positive. Secondly, Also learning to give up is really easy, as it doesn't require much effort. Our mind loves failure and attention. For seeking others attention it will try to gain others sympathy and show others that you are suffering a lot.
If not trained well, the mind will always pick up dirt, as a human we are more prone to negative thoughts than positive. Train your mind to be positive always, do not run for attention, always make the right decision. Point is, negative makes us sad and makes our life miserable, train to be positive and look for positive. When anxious, the mind will think more negatives, the best remedy is to be fully aware and conscious and come live in the present even for a small time, till the feelings go away. Else mind will always make a small worry too big one.
6. One Step at a time: Fear becomes really big when we start to worry about the future, what will happen to me 5 years down the line, It's so hard to live right now, how will I take care of my family, so all the worries become humongous because we look deeply into the future and finds our inabilities of fulfilling the dream or finding the solution.
But in reality, everything happens in the present, today is all you have, when the future will come, even that will be called today and you will be present there. Don't go too much in the future, just stay in today and live today first. One step at a time. Our mind is like a committee of members with lots of voices, learn about to use it wisely, click here.
7. Get the Anchor for your mind: Night times are the most scary as you are alone and by yourselves. Too much fear, hormonal response of the body, too many thoughts all make it too hard to sleep, and inability to sleep certainly affects our peace. Now we have a new fear of not able to sleep when anxious.
So that's how fear works, it keeps on adding one over the other. Best way to take control of these fears is to be mindful and not think too much but rather finding an anchor for your agitated mind. Put your mind on your breath using meditation, walking meditation or reciting a mantra. What we are doing is giving our mind an anchor so that it doesn't get lost in the ocean of thoughts and lose its sanity.
8. Meditation: Learn meditation, do a course. Meditation teaches you about the value of your own thoughts, value of observation, how to be positive, how to let go of things and how not to fall in the trap of your mind. Meditation is really important for the ultimate peace you are looking for in your own life. Learn how to deal with suicidal feelings, click here.
9:Read positive books everyday: What's better than making your mind positive by reading something positive. Reading positive thoughts makes a big impact on our mind, not only these thoughts teach us about life from someone else's experience and perspective, but also takes some buildup steam off.
As someone has already gone through what we are going through and that experience of others can teach us a big valuable lesson. And who better understand thoughts than monks. Listen to what they are saying about living, thoughts, feelings and emotions. Implement those lessons in your life daily and all your issues will go away. Our mind is like a committee of people, we need to keep the power in the important members' hands.
10. Exposure Response Prevention: A major reason behind any anxiety is compulsive thoughts. Same thoughts going in repetition over and over again. And one can understand how mind and body are connected. You feel what you think. This is also called OCD for thoughts or intrusive thoughts.
Do you know, just because you are thinking non stop, you have developed an OCD towards your thoughts. Your thoughts have gone highly intrusive and your response to those thoughts is hurting you the most. But you were not born with it, its with time you developed this behavior, which can be easily unwired with right training. That is called ERP training of mind.
You need to train your mind towards the harmlessness of your thought, by exposing your self to your trigger and then staying with your anxiety, till it drops around 50% and doing nothing, no reply back, no talk back, just be with your fear. This way you telling your mind, what you scared of is actually have no power. This will be hard in beginning, but its a long term solution towards your problem. Slowly mind will learn and will stop getting scared from those things. You can meet a certified professional for ERP under guidance or search on you tube for more.
Calm Mind Power
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